This is post 4 in my series on how stress does not cause infertility or make it harder to get pregnant, contrary to popular belief and common "knowledge".
4. It invalidates the emotions that women are feeling around miscarriages or infertility. It still stings when I think too hard about people telling me I didn't have a miscarriage, that I'm over-reacting, that it was all in my head, that I'm making this process harder on myself.
By laying the blame on the women themselves for stress causing infertility, it takes away any mental room they have to properly feel upset or to process the emotions. Pressure is put on women to stop stressing out. How much freaking sense does that make?!? Trying to stop being stressed out means trying to ignore the stressful emotions, and if you still have those emotions, then you're doing it wrong and having emotions that you shouldn't have, which just causes more stress. But, that stress is unacceptable, so your emotions are not valid and need to be changed.
Telling anyone that their emotions are wrong is treading on thin ice. There are some people who get over-wrought and really emotional about everything, and there are some people who take everything with a nod. Anything taken to extremes should be moderated, but right now women are not told to moderate their emotions; we are told either stop having them or only have the proper ones. That is damaging to anyone, and eventually can become internalized to the point of shutting all emotions or emotional expression down.
Other posts in this series:
1. The Stress Cycle
2. Victim Blaming
3. Woman = Uterus
4. Dismissing Emotions
5. The Myth Continues
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